One Day, At Amelia's
by Bezo and Yezo
Summary: Zelgadis, upon finding himself rather bored one day, decides to pass some time with the love of his life. Gettin' hot and sweaty. Aww... (Very important author's notes to follow the story)


One Day at Amelia's House...  
  
  
  
One day, Zelgadis was bored, having drunk all the coffee in the nearby vicinity (a.k.a. the universe), he decided, after much thought, to go over to Amelia's.  
  
"Hi," Amelia said shortly before he arrived.  
  
"Uh...I'm not here yet..." he didn't say, because he wasn't.  
  
  
  
Some Moments Later...  
  
  
  
"Hi," Amelia said, once he had arrived, as it would have been pointless to say it before that.  
  
"Hi," Zelgadis said once he arrived.  
  
"You're here!"  
  
"Yup. Sure am."  
  
"Cool!"  
  
"Yup. Sure is."  
  
"So..." she began, looking away uncertainly.  
  
"So...whaddaya wanna do?"  
  
"I dunno. Whadda you wanna do?"  
  
Zelgadis shrugged.  
  
"You pick."  
  
"I picked last time!" Amelia reminded him angrily. "You pick!"  
  
"Fine! Either you pick," Zelgadis threatened, "or we play tetherball."  
  
  
  
After a short game of tetherball...  
  
  
"So, NOW waddaya wanna do?" Amelia asked, wiping the sweat from her brow.  
  
"Well, you're sweaty," Zelgadis noted with a slight grin, "but how'd you like to get MORE sweaty?"  
  
"I don't wanna play tetherball again!" Amelia protested.  
  
"Oh," Zelgadis shrugged. "How about a Slurpee?"  
  
"What's a Slurpee?" she inquired, brow wrinkling.  
  
"I have no idea. Sounds good, though."  
  
"Yeah, it does. So, what do you want to do now?"  
  
"I don't know. I...do have one idea," he began, "but I'm not sure we're ready for that."  
  
"NO MORE TETHERBALL!!!"  
  
"No! Not tetherball. It's...something else. Something...dangerous."  
  
"We are NOT going over Niagra Falls in a barrel again!"  
  
"Um...what's Niagra Falls?"  
  
"I don't know," she admitted. "So, what's your idea, then?"  
  
"Well, we'd have to...go up to your room."  
  
"Mr. Zelgadis!" she gasped, blushing. Then, after a pause, "Okay!"  
  
And off they went.  
  
  
  
Four hours later...  
  
  
Zelgadis and Amelia staggered from her bed-chamber, covered in feathers, and not much else.  
  
"Oh, my," Zelgadis murmured. "You are so good!"  
  
"Yeah! That was the best naked pillow-fight ever!  
  
  
  
The End  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's Notes:  
  
Please note that this is neither a list, nor a story. These are author's notes, and quite legal by Fanfiction.net standards, as we have not created a separate chapter for them.  
  
  
Slayers Fan Fiction Drinking Game  
  
  
Take 1 drink if:  
  
Lina and Gourry are fighting over food -take another if Gourry ends up going hungry (Lina eats everything)   
-take another still if she uses a fireball or some other spell to accomplish this  
  
  
Filia hits someone with her mace   
-take three more if this "someone" is not Xellos  
  
  
Zelgadis sulks over something   
-take another if the subject of the sulkiness is his cure or lack thereof   
-take two more if his cure is not the reason for his sulkiness  
  
  
Amelia glomps Zelgadis for no particular reason   
-take another if he responds with irritation   
-take three more if he responds with violence and immediately declares his love to Lina   
-take another (along with the three) if Amelia responds by running into the woods crying, and ends up...for some reason, having sex with Xellos   
-take another (in addition to all previous) if Xellos is a girl in this scene   
-take another if the female Xellos brings along 'her' pet donkey, for unknown reasons.   
-take another, in addition to all above, if you think this one has gone too far. ^_^  
  
  
Zelgadis sweatdrops   
-take another eight if fangirls are the cause  
  
Sylphiel appears   
-take another every time she says "Oh, Gourry, dear" or any variation thereof   
-take another 8 if she says "Oh [anyone else], dear!"   
-take another 7 if she commits suicide over Gourry  
  
  
Someone calls Xellos "fruitcake" (cue entire cast saying "Hey! What's a "fruitcake"?")   
-drink your entire local liquor industry into drought if anyone calls Xellos a fruitcake anywhere in the show (added note: if you find this, please e-mail me and tell   
me where!)  
  
  
Every male character is in love with Lina   
-take another three drinks if every female character is also in love with Lina  
  
  
Someone is made to act mind-numbingly out of character (use your own judgement)   
-take two more if everyone acts mind-numbingly out of character   
-take ten more if everyone acts mind-numbingly IN character (you won't be drinking much, I'm guessing...)  
  
  
Japanese terms are inserted for no apparent reason   
-chug everything in sight if this is important for some reason  
  
  
  
Drink two drinks if:  
  
  
Naga is mentioned   
-take another if it is as Amelia's sister   
-take another four if Naga's laugh causes someone lasting physical or emotional damage   
-take ten more if a fanboy shows up and drools over her *ahem* endowments   
-take twenty more if a fanGIRL shows up to do the above  
  
  
Zelgadis confesses his love for Lina   
-take two more if Lina returns it   
-take three more if Lina does not return it   
-take two more (on top of the three) if this causes him to commit suicide  
  
  
Xellos confesses his love for Lina   
-take two more if Lina returns it   
-take three more if Lina does not return it   
-take two more (on top of the three) if this causes the death of Gourry or Zelgadis   
-take eighteen more if this somehow causes the death of Xellos  
  
  
Xellos confesses his love for Zelgadis  
  
  
One of the characters (whose appearance everyone is familiar with) is described in mind-numbingly excessive detail (e.g. His ear was absolutely astounding. She caught her breath as the absolute glory of this ear, set triumphantly to the left of his head, reaching proudly to the sky in its true pointiness. The ear was as blue as the endless, fathomless sky above...except for the pebbles, which were a very pretty sort of darker blue, much like a blue darker than the sky. The ocean, for example. Its blueness wept in shame, causing global flooding, over not being on par with the blueness of the little pebbles in his ear. Perfection in ear-form, Lina thought, unable to swallow a mouthful of food for the sheer beauty of it. The sunlight caught the ear at just the right angle, and it glittered dazzlingly as the pale golden glow reflected off of it. At this point, Zelgadis rolled his eyes, annoyed. "It's just an ear, people," he huffed, sipping at his coffee. "Ah, coffee," he began, "You are my sun, my moon, my starlit sky...)  
  
  
Someone expresses a deep hatred for Amelia   
-take another drink if this is Zelgadis   
-take another two if this is Lina   
-take another four if this person wishes for her death  
  
  
See above; substitute Gourry  
  
  
  
Take four drinks if:  
  
  
Two males get together (other than Xel and Zel)  
  
Two females get together  
  
One of the characters drives a car (or some other very anachronistic.thingie is inserted)   
-take another three if it isn't an alternate universe fic  
  
  
  
Take eight drinks if:  
  
  
More than two males/females/combination of the two get together (for sexual purposes)  
  
No one gets together with anyone  
  
Miwan returns   
-take two more if this causes Amelia/Lina/Filia (depending on the author's coupling bias) severe emotional trauma   
-take four more if it does not  
  
Valun returns  
  
Jillas returns  
  
Someone uses drugs  
  
Someone mentions Seyruun's famous soft-serve ice cream  
  
  
  
Die of alcohol poisoning if...  
  
  
Philionel makes out with Shabranigdo.  
  
Shabranigdo is reborn through the little green-blue (okay, are you happy now, Bezo?!!!) bunny-kitty  
  
Lina is reborn through Shabranigdo  
  
Zelgadis is portrayed as an ineffectual dolt  
  
Gourry is portrayed as a genius  
  
Deep Sea Dolphin takes up belly-dancing  
  
Hallas comes in and saves the day  
  
Volun and Hallas hook up  
  
Volun and Gourry hook up  
  
Volun and Lina hook up  
  
The Carebears make a guest cameo  
  
So do the Transformers  
  
And the Power Rangers  
  
Kimberly (the first Pink Ranger) hooks up with Optimus Prime (leader of the Auto-Bots), and Lina (we aaaaaaaaall know her...some of us not very well, but they   
write about her anyway...oops. Did I just type that out loud? Hee- hee!) is her maid of honour, with Phibrizzo as the ring bearer, and Grumpy Bear (three guesses)   
as the cushion that the ring is carried on, much to his disgust, thus making him even grumpier (if such a thing were possible)  
  
Phibrizzo and Gaav hook up (this really pisses of Valgaav, but let's face it - what doesn't?)  
  
Lina is portrayed as an ineffectual dolt  
  
Someone uploads a list under the pretext of author's notes, burying it under a really lame story that they wrote in two minutes. Not that we're giving anyone ideas,  
'cause we're not; we would never condone such a blatant disregard for Fanfiction.net rules! DON'T fight the power, brother! DON'T fight the power! 


End file.
